Stages of dating a widower
Making this decision for them is only asking for heartache if you perceive the relationship as getting serious.With widowers, having to decide to ask you out or plan a date forces them to come to grips with their internal struggle of whether or not they’re ready to date again and whether or not you’re worth it.(See #1.)Keep in mind that this applies to the early stages of a relationship where men need to decide if you’re worth it.As the relationship becomes more serious and you become more comfortable with each other, then you can step in.Then, after I got to know her better, I realized that not only was she hot but she had everything else I wanted in a future spouse.I knew she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.Having a good picker means not only that you learn how to spot and avoid the jerks, but even more importantly, that you don’t miss the really good guys. When a man is in a happy relationship he pours himself into it. We’ve experienced a lot: love, heartbreak, successes, failures – and having lost a spouse is a very real possibility. I have also spent the past 8 years closely observing many women as they dated Ws.And when it’s gone, he’s left with the kids (maybe) and his job (maybe). So if he knows what he wants and is ready for love again, he takes his search for a new partner seriously – and that’s the gem of dating a widower. But, as with all of those other big life experiences, being widowed isn’t the end of the story. Together they are traveling the world and running marathons. And it’s not like she had to ‘make him’ do it – he loved adding that to his life! Some have remained in great relationships with them (like Karen above).
I admit that as a coach who teaches women to date like a grownup, I assumed that it would be taken for granted that it is never okay to stick around and accept bad behavior or be treated like a doormat.
Let it be known that Marathon Girl to help me put the grief for the late wife aside.
The first time I saw her I had put my eyes back in my head and pick my jaw off the floor because she was so damn sexy.
I also realized the only way that was going to happen if I moved on with my life. I would have run 100 miles over shards of broken glass just to have her smile at me.
After six years of marriage, she has the same affect on me. Over the years I’ve been in touch with lots of widowers who have remarried and they all say the same thing: when the you.