Dating your best friend39s ex wife

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How would you tell your friend that you're dating their ex?

years now-some guys lasted just one date, others for months at a free race car dating time.

I spoke to a number of dating experts on the subject, and across the board they all echoed a similar sentiment: throwing a friend's ex into the dating mix can be a bloody disaster.

“On paper, it sounds like an absolutely horrendous idea, and something most good friends would try to avoid like the plague,” notes Michael Valmont, a dating and social coach.

Particularly if you were in a long-term relationship with her,” he says. If it's just an acquaintance from work, and he dated a woman you like, they broke up, then there is no reason why you couldn't date her,” says Sebastian Callow, a London-based dating coach for men. Experts recommend considering how long your friend and his ex dated (anything over six months is tricky territory as the emotional ties tend to be stronger); how old you are (one expert suggested that in our twenties, perceived slights carry more weight than when we're older and “more realistic”); why you're interested (do you lack the self confidence to approach a stranger?

But what if you really, really fancy Sally, to the point you're picturing sleepy Sundays and all sorts of lovely, luscious romance? ); how much stress you're willing to endure; and ultimately what the friendship is worth.

Cyril Uwem, an engineer based in South Africa cast his vote for In any case, whether it is okay or not to date a friend's ex depends on . Guys tend to be less caring about these kind of stuff but us girls …

It's not okay to date your best friend's ex even if your best friend is married with 50 kids and they So her actions are no worse then other characters and she has more solid motivations for those actions. I feel a bit childish saying 'girl code', but yeah!

“This is not an episode of Friends where everything seems to magically work out, despite love triangle after love triangle,” says Valmont. It's fun while it lasts, but the devastation it leaves after is not so pleasant.” So maybe step back from Sally, and go find a Jane, or Becky, or anyone else that isn't your friend's ex.“You can try to handle it like an adult, being open and honest – but you will go down a notch on the friendship ladder,” agrees Nana Wereko-Brobby, director of Social Concierge, a London dating service.Nana points to the story of her friend Katie, a 27-year-old Londoner who lost a friendship when an ex got involved. Tell him what his friendship means to you,” suggests Irene La Cota, president of dating agency It's Just Lunch International.During the conversation, pay attention to your friend's non-verbal communication.“As guys, we often say we're OK with the situation to put on a brave face, when really we're anything but,” adds Callow.

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