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After all, they didn’t choose to break up and can become very upset when they lose contact with another caregiver, especially if they had begun to like having that person around.
It’s even worse if the child’s parent says disparaging things about her or his ex-lover.
Whether we want to admit it or not, children are going to experience instability as their parents go in search of romantic partners.
Parents who get into these relationships may have very different expectations for how things should be than the men and women who they’re bringing home.
Lately, I’ve noticed a pattern of serial romantic relationships among friends who are dating online.
They meet, and a few months later, introduce their new partner to their kids.
In truth, most ex-lovers are not going to want the contact.For example, Hadfield found that custodial parents wanted their new partners to take on a parenting role with their children, as well as being the parent's romantic partner.Parents figured that a new adult in the home would help them put some much needed distance between the family and the last romantic partner who was there, whether that person was the children’s biological parent or not.How do we help kids through these transitions and avoid instability? Kristen Hadfield, a post-doctoral fellow I supervise at the Resilience Research Centre who has been doing research in the US, Ireland and Canada on mothers, stepparents and kids. First, parents are cycling in and out of romantic relationships at a higher rate than ever before.All those online dating sites are doing what they were intended to do.